Happy New Year! I love you!
I finished this year off spending time with my ROOTS. I traveled home and stomped around NYC and Poughkeepsie with old friends, new friends, and my whole family. This year has been a pivotal year for me personally but also for just about everyone I know! Maybe I am simply at that age where I see bigger picture stuff but I also see how much hard work is being done to assure our futures feel FULL through connection and interdependence.
Years ago, under my teacher’s guidance (Yogarupa Rod Stryker), I started the search for my Dharma (Life Purpose). Every once in awhile, I reevaluate to see if I am still on the same Path.
What I wrote back in 2007 - "I will live by my light and with interdependence (not independence or codependence). I will fearlessly share my passion for love, art, and yoga with no attachments.”
So what does that really mean? It means I trust and believe in myself and to prove it, I must share “it” with others.
And where does trust start from? Believing in who I am and loving myself. And how did I learn how to do that - My foundation - MY ROOTS.
I can trace many of my traits back to either my mother or father but this year was in fact the year of my mother. This didn’t really dawn on me until a week before christmas a close friend of mine asked me “Name one good thing and one bad thing you got from your mother?”
I think a lot of us can do what I did in that moment….. Easily list the "bad" traits (the ones we desperately want to let go of) and then take a little TOO MUCH TIME listing the good traits.
So as any good yogini would do - I started to pay closer attention!!!! I asked myself and the universe - What does MOTHER mean to me?
A few days later, I was looking through my mothers library and found the book “Gift from the Sea” by Anne Morrow Lindbergh © 1955. I had never seen this book before…. although many of you know it well! It is a book that reflects on the lives of Americans especially American women but through the lens of how to care for one’s own soul.
I started reading it and knew immediately! This is what my mother has taught me! This is how MOTHER continues to show up in my life!
My MOTHER is unshakeable, stable, stoic, standing on the shoulders of all women who came before her! She sees the big picture, the progression towards the freedom for all souls and therefore can say with an effable sincerity THAT EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT. IT WILL. IT REALLY REALLY WILL and…. IT ALREADY HAS.
We are locked in to this moment, can only see from this vantage point. We are stuck in our understanding of linear time.
Yet every once in awhile we play the game of “what will life look like a year from now…. Will I be who I am now?” No, we “see” (more like “feel”) the future, we KNOW things will be different, we KNOW things will be brighter and lighter. So, in this moment, the practice is to remember that we can make THIS MOMENT EFFORTLESS NO MATTER HOW DAUNTING as long as we stay with the knowingness of our roots, our foundation, the TRUST OF OURSELVES and feeling and trusting the lightness of our FUTURE SELF.
On a very personal note, this pivotal year for me included receiving a handwritten letter EVERYDAY from my mother! She described it as her personal practice.
In the final letter of the year she wrote “One year ago…. I knew sharing a moment or two with you, every day, you would be aware that my heart was trying to comfort your heart. As I have said, all the years you have known me, there are no “wasted” experiences. Mistakes, yes; choices made and ones not chosen, yes; all the time, never standing still. Every day of this past year, you have discovered things about yourself that have surprised you, strengthened you, healed you- in ways, perhaps, you make a ‘case for’ “I wish that had not happened.” Nonetheless, to paraphrase the Leonard Cohen lyric - when the rocks broke ‘light’ started to shine through. How can all ‘that’ be anything but “worth the time”? So, more days ahead for you, and for me and perhaps more joy than you can (and I can) possibly have anticipated… God is watching over us, Bren, not from a distance, but HERE. NOW. FOREVER. I love you, Mom”
To paraphrase my teacher, “Even if your human mother or parents, for that matter, are not where you feel safe and stable, you are aware of what MOTHER means and are capable of feeling The Universe as the Great Mother. She holds you, never overlooks you, helps you grow, and will always love you.”
So, I am placing my 2014 in the renewed foundation of 2013, in the hands of MOTHER. And I promise to keep trusting, sharing, and growing from all experiences. I want to thank each and every one of you for playing a role in my journey and I hope to stay a part of yours.
Love Always, Brenna
As I left New York, my mother passed on the book “Gift from the Sea” to me with an updated signature -
Brenna Geehan, 500-E-RYT, teaches weekly hatha flow classes in San Francisco at Yoga Tree Stanyan, Yoga Tree 6th Avenue and Yoga Tree Hayes. Brenna co-directs Sri Yoga™ Teacher Trainings and Retreats with Jean Mazzei and travels nationally offering Yoga seminars. To inquire about an upcoming retreat or training, or to schedule a private consultation with Brenna, contact her here. Learn more at www.BrennaGeehan.com